Worst Date Ever

I think I’m the worst date ever.

Now don’t get me wrong the actual date was fantastic and I’m pretty sure we both had a good time up until one certain point.

Let’s take a walk through the date.

We go out for a drink and to shoot some pool. I’m not the greatest at pool but it’s fun and he teaches me a little. We decide to go back to my place to watch a movie.

As I get in the front door my cell is ringing and I’m getting a text. It’s my ex. He’s at the freight door of my building with all of my stuff and wants to unload it right now. If I don’t come down he’ll just leave it all there outside.

This was unplanned. He hadn’t said he was coming. He didn’t know if I’d even be there. I. Guessing if I wasn’t he would have just left it all there.

I apologize to my date and then go down to meet him. I explain that it’s not a good time and that nothing was planned. He doesn’t care. He’s gonna leave it all there anyway.

He goes on to say I something along the lines of how dare I say what I did to his family. Now this throws me completely off because I haven’t talked to his family in about a month. Aside from his one sister about a movie and the other about her baby and upcoming wedding. I mention this and he outright calls me a liar.

Clearly I couldn’t stop him so I help him with my things. I notice him bring a vacuum that we agreed he could keep as he has carpet but my place does not. I mention that it’s his and he shot puts it across the lawn and says whatever I don’t want he’s leaving right there and I can do what I want with. I also notice a box with stuff that isn’t mine in it. I assume his girlfriends from one of the multiple times they broke up and he’s packed up their things. I try to notify him of this as well and he freaks and just starts leaving things on the ground saying I can do it all and throw out what I don’t want.

He leaves and then at this point my date starts helping me as its lightly raining and my stuff is all over the place.

He says he understands and that I couldn’t help the situation but I feel like that’s the end of him. Why stay when my psycho ex just shows up unannounced whenever.

The annoying part is I don’t even know what he was talking about. I haven’t said anything to his family about him in ages. I barely even talk to them. Yet whatever it was that was said was bad enough for him to freak out like that.

A New Day

I’ve decided to move on. He keeps dragging me into his craziness and I really don’t want to be apart of it. It’d be great if we could be friends some day but right now it doesn’t seem like it.

In honour of moving on I reactivated my plenty of fish account. I even went on a spur of the moment date.

One of the guys I was chatting with asked what I was up to. I mentioned wanting to see Alice Through the Looking Glass and he offered to go with me. I do not mind seeing movies alone but it’s definitely more enjoyable with someone.

I had a great time. He’s a sweet guy. Totally charming and funny. Definitely my type of guy.

Since during a movie you can’t talk much we are also going out somewhere tonight.

I’m super excited and nervous at the same time.

His ex had cheated on him too so he gets what I’m going through. I feel awful that he had to go through it too but it’s bonded us in a way.

It Starts Again

Interesting turn of events. After him staying here to make sure she gets the message about them breaking up he believes one of her scam texts (she sent many) and goes to see her. I’m guessing they’d been arguing all day. We had plans tonight but he didn’t show or answer any messages. He just texted me now saying he thinks they fight because he talks to me so now he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.

I’m certain that I’m not the cause of their fighting as we went months without talking at all and I know they fought and broke up several times during that time.

It’s too bad that he can’t figure things out on his own. He keeps letting her manipulate him.

I honestly think it’d do him some good to stay away from both of us and think about himself. He has depression and all of this sure isn’t helping.

New Territory

I called him last night. I decided I wanted to get to the bottom of everything and that was the fastest way.

He told me I was right that they’d get back together but he was really only there because he likes her kids and was hoping to make it work with her. Last about a day before he realized he can’t stand her.

Naturally they got in a huge fight and he waited until the kids were asleep and just left. He asked me if he could stay with me otherwise he’d stay at a hotel. I know he’s broke at the moment so I said he could come over.

He then told me this long story about how she always snaps at him and doesn’t listen and tries to turn everything into a fight.

He thinks leaving for a few days will make her realize that it’s done for good. I have a feeling it won’t. After all at the moment she has his house and his car. She’ll use it and the kids to get him back just like she always does.

I gave him some advice on what to do. I don’t know if he’ll take it. I hope so.

We actually had a really nice night.

The invite to his brother’s wedding still  stands so I think I’m going to go. Not sure what his family will say about us coming together. I want him to make sure it’s ok with his brother first.

He said last night something to the effect of he could see us getting back together. I could too but I know it’ll be hard. He burned a lot of his bridges with our friends and family. I know my dad would never forgive him. He holds grudges. Plus he already calls me stupid whenever I defend anything he does.

It All Comes Crashing Down

He’s been MIA since our almost perfect day together.

It seems like they’re back together again. He sent me a Facebook friends request a little awhile ago and I noticed on his profile that she’s been posting things since Sunday. Which would have been right after he left here he went there.

It’s funny cuz he’d say things like she hates him and never wants to see him again or I’m the last person he’s slept with without me really prompting him to say anything.

When I looked further back on his Facebook profile it appears they break up and get back together basically around all of the times he sees me.

I know he doesn’t tell her that he sees me so now I’m wondering if I should tell her that he’s playing her like that. I want to stay out of it but it’s cruel to have her think one thing when he’s doing something else.

Last I spoke to him he said they’ve been broken up for a couple of months so it appears he’s trying to play me too.

I want to ask him but I’m not sure how I should.

It’s hard to believe this man that I’ve loved and trusted for 10 years could be so cruel.

Almost Perfect Day

Yesterday we met up. He had texted the day before saying he had something to tell me and something to ask me.

We ended up going for a walk around the board walk, swimming, lunch and to Home Depot to pick out a vanity for the basement for our insurance company to replace (in the winter a pipe had burst and flooded the basement).

It was a very fun day and was filled with lovey dovey moments. Hand holding, kissing compliments. It was a fantastic day.

Until she called.

Months ago he had promised to go to her daughters dance recital. There was an extra dance that the girls were doing for their fathers and he agreed to be there for hers.

It’s not the first time that she’s ruined a good day that we’ve been having.

It seems like they’re broken up for good. He’s been slowly giving her stuff back to her.

The truck of his car was filled with stuff he was going going to give her at the recital.

I’m not sure where we stand on since he had to leave in a hurry yesterday.

It’s hard to tell anything with him lately.

He did ask me to go to his brother’s wedding with him. I really want to go. I haven’t really given him an answer yet.

I’m supposed to go to a blue jays game the next day and it’s a long drive. I’m also supposed to be having a belated birthday with my friend that weekend.

If I could just figure out what he’s been thinking lately it would help me decide.

Wedding Bell Blues

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit down. I keep getting the urge to call him to text him. Go over and see him.

I haven’t though.

I don’t think he’d want it.

Which is why I feel a little down.

I also keep having dreams that we’re back together. Nice dreams to have but leaves me feeling sad that it’s not true.

Part of the reason I feel a little down is his brother’s wedding is In a couple of weeks. I’d love to be able to go. Of course that wouldn’t happen.

I’ve never really been close to my family. With his family bring so big there was always something going on. People to talk to. It was amazing. Now I’m back to being by myself. No family. No events. My family only gets together on holidays and its rushed and feels like no one wants to be there. I doubt my family really knows who I am.

I think I need to get out and do something to help me shake the blues. Unfortunately it’s supposed to rain all week so that leaves little to do.

This weekend is a friend’s birthday party. It’ll help cheer me up. These are the friends that let me stay with them during everything. My guardian angels.

To Talk or Not to Talk

I told him about his family getting together. In case he wanted a ride. I had plans a few towns over so I figured it made sense. Instead he flips out over how his family would rather have me in it and not him and they can all go and fuck themselves. He went on ranting for awhile about how much he hates all of them. Especially his youngest sister because he knows she’s the one I’m closest to.

I wasn’t even going to go to visit with his family. Just drop him off and possibly use the washroom. I had plans in wasaga. He completely jumped to conclusions.

When I told him that I wasn’t invited he just ranted about how they talk to me and not him. I really only talk to his sister. None of the boys. He’s the one that wanted us to talk. In fact he told everyone that they should still talk to me. Now he’s upset that they do talk to me.

I didn’t want to make him upset. He said that he wanted to spend more time with his family but that doesn’t have the money for it and then when I give him a cheap way to see them he freaks out.

He’s been very mood swingy lately. I’m really trying to help but I’m not sure what to do.

Dilemma 

His sister has invited me to come hang out with her this weekend for the long weekend. Most of her brothers will be there. I haven’t hung out with all of them in a group since everything happened.

I’m not sure if I should go or not. I don’t want to make things awkward.

Also he’s told me that he wishes he could see his family more but he thinks they hate him. I don’t think they hate him but are confused by what he’s been doing lately.

I’m not sure if I should tell him that they’ll all be together. I want to try and help him with his depression. Im sure people will think I’m naive because of it. I just can’t leave someone  alone that needs help.

My parents don’t know we talk other than about getting my stuff back or lawyer stuff. To them he’s public enemy number one. It’s not surprising with my father. Once he’s made a decision that’s it. Almost nothing could get him to change his mind. He’s the type to go on a gut feeling.  It’s surprising with my mom. She used to be a nurse so she has seen depression and mental illnesses in action but she’ll only say things like I shouldn’t talk to him it’s too little too late. He knows he’s made mistakes but it’s too bad according to her.

Glad to know my parents are so forgiving for if I ever make a mistake. I guess there’s a reason that we’ve never been that close.

Part of my problem is I will do anything in my power to help anyone.

So now my dilemma is should I let him know his family is getting together so he can join them? Should I offer his a ride as they live 5 hours away and I’m going that way anyway? Should I visit them without telling him? Should I just forget it and go somewhere else for the long weekend?

Talking 

So yesterday we ended up sleeping together again. He had papers that I needed to sign from our house insurance. 

I guess last time we were both a little disappointed that it was cut short with both of us having to go back to work so we pre planned it this time. We even spent the morning until our lunch breaks sexting each other to help get in the mood. 

During he kept saying things like when did I become so good at it and we both we very satisfied after. 

Today he’s gone back to his he wants to be by himself to think. But he did actually open up a bit and say why he needed time to himself. Most because he’s been depressed. 

It seems like he has a lot of regrets but is trying not to think about it. Trying to learn from his mistakes. 

I gave him a bit of advice. Ways to be happy. 

Ended very amicable.  He even said he might talk to me again soon since talking does help. 

I hope things keep up like this.